”They say you don’t know who you are as a Jew until you go to Israel. I went on Birthright & Ulpan. Before my next program, Pardes, started, I needed a place to stay for 3 weeks. My mom was friends with a survivor named Edith who was close to a family in Har Nof. She arranged for me to stay there. I was told to pack modest clothing. When I walked into their home, it wasn't just a husband and wife. It was a Rosh Yeshiva and Rebbetzin. I felt like an alien.
To my utter surprise, in the Rebbetzin I found the role model I was always looking for. I watched her navigate difficult phone calls and visits. I watched her pray in the morning. I saw someone really connected to G-d. This was a person who was in tune with her higher self, & I wanted that. She didn’t get caught in the spiral when things were overwhelming; G-d was at her center. I had never seen anyone able to do that. I saw in her what I didn’t see in my yoga teachers or professors.
I asked lots of questions but I started to realize that some of my questions didn’t make sense anymore. One morning I sat at her table grasping at straws as to why I wasn't religious, and I melted into a puddle of tears. I was going to have to change. Oh boy.
I decided I wanted to learn Torah in an all-female environment, so I went to Shearim Seminary, where I fell in love & felt at home. I told the head of school that I didn’t want to be religious, I just wanted to learn. She told me they just wanted to get my questions answered. Soon I realized this was exactly what I needed & wanted to be. A year later, I started dating. Edith told me that when you meet the right person, you’ll experience a fog. After my first date with my future husband, I experienced an actual fog. We got engaged 9 dates later.
